"I have a cough and I die. I have a cough and I die. I die! I die!" (Can someone say Drama Queen?)
Us: "Ok, patient. The nurse who just left gave you some cough medicine. Now, we're going to take a quick look and listen and then we will see what else we can bring you."
Patient: "I cough! i sick! I die! I cough! I sick! I die! I cough! I sick! I die!"
Us: "Patient, could you just roll on your side so we can listen to your lungs?"
Patient rolls over and commences moaning so much that we can barely hear their lungs. I say "Patient. We want to help you feel better, but we can't do that unless we can listen to what's happening. Could you quiet down for a minute so we can listen?"
Patient: completely ignores me and continues moaning. Lung sounds barely heard.
Patient then continues to repeat the same thing. "I cough, I sick, I die. I need doctor." "I cough, I sick, I die. I need doctor." "I cough, I sick, I die. I need doctor."
Us: "Patient, we are good nurses and will take good care of you. We are going to go get you medicine for your cough, and you are not going to die."
Patient: "I cough. I sick. I die."
Second story
Needy, needy patient calls out on the call light for the 999567th time that night. Not our patient, but we were helping.My student goes into the room to help the patient. The patient says: “Can you change my TV to channel 9? I need to answer the TV’s questions.”
Third story
There was something else that was really funny that happened, but I can not, for the life of me, remember what that was right now. That’s how busy I was.
