I'm off to bed for a couple hours since I've worked the past three days...enjoy these in the meantime.
Actual clinical note:
"Patient was advised against using PEG (tube used for feedings that goes directly into the stomach) tube for beer upon his/her discharge."
Actual patient statement:
"This heart monitor sucks away my life force while it's on me. But see if I hold it out here, I'm much better."
I don't make this stuff up people.
